just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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