So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
