It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
