Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
