I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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