If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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