We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
