My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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