Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
