yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
