so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
