She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
