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After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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