TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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