your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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