btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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