Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
