it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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