I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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