Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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