can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
