i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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