What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
