I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
