he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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