I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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