Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
