I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
