i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
