Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
