u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
