I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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