i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
