Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
