Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
