Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
