Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
