kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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