i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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