***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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