thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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