is your mom at the bar?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
