so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
