I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
