the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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