when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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