I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
