so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
