im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
