i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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