it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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