I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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