Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
