Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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