Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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