Define "chronic" masturbator.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i think my cat just said my name.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
