I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
