i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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